Ever met someone new and felt excited, only to realise a few months later that they’re just like your ex? Same texting style, same emotional distance, same confusing behaviour? If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing a dating pattern known as “groundhogging.”
Groundhogging refers to a growing trend where people repeatedly date the same type of partner — even if the relationship ends badly each time. The name may sound lighthearted, but the pattern can be emotionally draining. It’s not about meeting the same person again, but about choosing someone with nearly identical habits, personality traits and even red flags. The faces change, but the experience often feels the same.
At the beginning, every new relationship feels fresh and exciting. There’s chemistry, long conversations and hope that this time things will be different. But as time passes, a strange sense of déjà vu creeps in. You begin noticing familiar patterns, emotional unavailability, mixed signals, cold texting, or the same kind of arguments you’ve had before.
This happens because we are often drawn to what feels familiar. Even if a past relationship hurt us, our minds can associate certain personality types with excitement or passion. That familiarity can feel comforting at first, even if it later leads to disappointment.
Many people caught in this cycle genuinely believe each new partner is “the one.” The connection feels intense, and they convince themselves that this time it will work out. But the story often ends in similar misunderstandings, conflicts and heartbreak.
Dating apps may also play a role. When people repeatedly describe or search for a “type,” they unknowingly limit themselves to similar personalities and behaviours. Sometimes, attraction is based more on instant excitement than on long-term compatibility or emotional health.
Groundhogging isn’t random. It reflects our habits, preferences and sometimes unresolved feelings. We may even defend our choices, convincing ourselves that the new person is different — even when the signs suggest otherwise.
Breaking the cycle requires awareness. Instead of choosing a familiar set of traits and expecting a new result, it may help to step outside your usual pattern. Sometimes, the healthiest relationship begins when you choose differently, even if it feels unfamiliar at first.
