Evaluate the health and future of your relationship with these five essential questions. Ensure effective communication, shared goals, and emotional intimacy for a lasting bond.
Although maintaining a relationship requires work, the good news is that self-reflection may be quite beneficial. Imagine it like a yearly car tune-up, only far less messy and much more focused on creating a lasting relationship. Now that you have a cup of coffee (or your preferred beverage), settle up on the couch (or make a video chat if you live far away), and let’s discuss these five important questions to determine the state and direction of your relationship.
1. Is There Anything We Can Discuss (That Won’t Become World War I)?
In a way, communication is the key to any successful relationship. Consider Beyoncé and Jay-Z. They may have had setbacks (anyone remember the elevator incident?), but they have always bounced back stronger.
Why? due to their ability to express their demands and emotions intelligibly. Can you have honest, open talks with your partner? Can you communicate your worries or disappointments without things getting out of control? A successful and healthy relationship is based on trust and understanding, which are developed by effective communication.
2. Do We Play Together? As in, the Life Goals Team?
Have you ever heard the saying “opposites attract”? That may be true for fleeting relationships, but sharing goals and ideals is essential for a committed partnership. Imagine this: although your partner wants to settle down and start a family of five, you are all fired up about seeing the world.
That’s a surefire way to cause a significant misalignment. Shared objectives can serve as a compass to point you both in the same direction, whether they are related to jobs, travel, or even just how important recycling is to you.
3. How Do We Handle Conflict?
An inevitable aspect of any relationship is conflict. I mean, that’s how we get to know one another and get stronger, right? But what counts most is how you resolve those conflicts. Consider those widely shared videos of couples fighting in public—eww! Imagine now that you are both having a calm conversation about a problem, listening to each other’s viewpoints and attempting to come up with a solution that benefits everyone. THAT is constructive dispute resolution. Remember, empathy, respect, and a willingness to compromise are your best friends here.
4. Are We Satisfied with the Level of Emotional Intimacy?
Admittedly, true intimacy is much more than a physical relationship. It’s about having the confidence to talk about your innermost feelings, anxieties, and even those awkward childhood anecdotes (we’ve all got them!). Consider this: if your spouse doesn’t allow you to be who you truly are, then with whom can you be yourself? It takes time and work to develop emotional closeness, but when you can connect on a deeper level, your relationship takes on a unique quality.
5. Since this isn’t a one-person show, are we making an effort?
Relationships are like gardens; in order to keep them flourishing, you have to tend to them. Consider whether you are both making a conscious effort to spend quality time and energy on your relationship. Do you recall the weekly date night you used to have? Yes, make sure that doesn’t fade into the past. Long-term success in a relationship requires displaying appreciation, emphasizing progress, and making time for each other.
So, You Did the Relationship Check-Up… Now What?
You’ve essentially performed a tiny health check on your relationship by thinking through these questions. Have you found any spots that require minor repairs? Fantastic! You can now collaborate on them. Recall that the cornerstones of a solid relationship are respect, understanding, and a dedication to one another’s satisfaction. Thus, maintain open lines of communication, make sure your objectives are in line, settle disputes amicably, foster your emotional bond, and—above all—never stop making investments in your incredible partnership. This is something you can handle!
