Dating someone just for the fun of it, without any desire for a long-term relationship or marriage, is a wrong idea. And after all the frustrating and disappointing trends of dating someone seem to have faded, a new term is doing the rounds: cookie-jarring.
Imagine yourself as a delicious cookie, all ready to be enjoyed in a committed relationship. But instead, you’re chilling in a jar, waiting to be someone’s second choice. Not exactly the recipe for a fulfilling love life, right?
So, what exactly is cookie-jarring? Placing somebody in a cookie jar refers to dating them alongside a ‘primary’ partner or person you are interested in. You may reach out to the cookie jar as a backup plan if your primary interest does not work out. This dating habit is called ‘cookie-jarring.’
It’s basically dating someone casually while keeping your eyes peeled for a “better” option. You’re readily available, fun to hang out with, but ultimately seen as a backup plan. Think of it like that bag of chips you munch on when you haven’t ordered takeout yet – convenient, but not quite what you’re craving.
Why do people cookie-jar? Sometimes, it boils down to insecurity. Like that psychotherapist mentioned on NBC Today, people might fear rejection and keep their options open to avoid heartbreak. But hey, that just creates a messy situation for everyone involved!
Here’s the thing: being someone’s cookie is a recipe for disaster. You deserve to be someone’s main course, not just a quick snack. So, how can you tell if you’re in the cookie jar?
- Only at the last minute does your partner create plans (because the first idea did not work out).
- You try to talk about your feelings, and your partner instantly becomes defensive.
- Your partner steers clear of discussing the possibility of a committed partnership.
- Your lover takes long gaps to communicate with you regularly or perhaps no communication exists and he/she is there just for the fun of it.
Even though these can seem like issues that any relationship could have, it’s crucial to recognize any behavioral patterns that might indicate that a relationship is “cookie-jarred.”
And if these signs sound familiar, the best thing to do would be to walk away from a relationship that does not meet your emotional needs. However, before pulling the trigger you can attempt to have a direct, honest conversation with your partner and ask them if they are seeing somebody. If the response does not satisfy you or leaves you feeling insecure, you should walk away from that person and prioritize your well-being.
Remember, the right thing is a long-term relationship or marriage built on trust and commitment. Don’t settle for anything less like being someone’s emotional comfort food or cookie-jarring.
